The Question.

so im in frankfurt right now, visiting my friend tesilie. Im sat in her beautyfull room listening to sigur ros. Mf friend once descirbed listening to sigur as one of the most spiritual experiances of his life, maybe so it is so pritty music. Im taking a break from life in wales, just a weekend, 3 short days before the finale push, the most important time in my life so far. the next few mounths dictate my future, to a piont they dictate me.

At this critical piont i want to ask a question, its a question almost every one in my position in life has to ask, its a big question and i feel often has no answer, the question is............ What shall i do next?

i finish university in a few mounths, hopefully with a usefull degree, how usefull can a degree in media practice be though! i take pictures, if you knew me you would know it is the thing i love to do most. With my old beat up 35mm camera which is older then me by a good 20 years. its a lump of metal, a few discks of glass, one or too cogs and my relationship with life, it is my memory, my imagination, my creativity. It is part of me. When i leave university i want to take pictures, that is all.

People ask me "so pat, what will you do when you leave university?" i reply "I will take pictures". I get a look as if they thinck its a joke, im pulling there leg, having a laugth. What they do not, can not and never will realise is that i do not want to be rich, i do not want to be famous, i dont want a job, i do not want fans, i do not want people telling "I love your work", all i want is too take pictures and to be apreashiated.

When i take pictures i am happy, that is what i want when i leave university, that is what i will do next that is what i want from life, to be happy, probably the hardest and most unabtainable goal in the whole world, but it is my goal, my dream, my life, my vishion and my hart.

And im not alown, i feel that it is His goal for me too, His plan for me in this world and He is watching my back.